It seems like as time goes on, parenting is becoming more and more stressful. As more and more families are splitting up, causing more parents to become ‘Single parents’, both parents having to work because the economy is terrible and other life stresses that come our way, it’s hard to keep our patience when our kids are acting up. Trust me, I know.
I’m a single mum of 3 kids and although they are my world and make me so unbelievably happy and proud, they drive me absolutely insane. It’s so damn hard having 3 kids and sometimes I lose sight of what’s important by focusing on how stressed I am or how hard things can be. My day to day routines are insane. From the moment I wake up, to the moment I go to sleep, I’m on the go. Never without a moments peace. Between school runs, baby crying in the car because she hates car rides and my toddler moving at sloth speed and answering back, I’m drained by the end of the day. It’s hard. So when a child is misbehaving, it’s very hard for me to want to be nice to them. Sometimes I stress out too much and show them my nasty side. Sometimes I say things I shouldn’t. Sometimes I slip up and swear. Sometimes I make them cry because I’m frustrated at them.
For example: the other night, after telling my kids not to go on my laptop, when I finally got the baby to sleep and went downstairs, I came down to a broken laptop. My son had spilled orange juice all over it. I was devastated. I was so angry at both of them for playing on it, and I lost my temper!!! I said some pretty nasty things because I felt such a rage over their ignorance towards my no laptop rule. I know they should face some sort of punishment for ignoring me….
But then I realise, kids aren’t supposed to grow up with parents that are on edge all the time and I should think about how I react to certain situations. They aren’t supposed to feel every stress I have. They don’t need to hear every bad word I have to say. Kids are kids and they will drive me insane half the time, it’s kinda their job to. It isn’t their fault. I don’t want my kids to grow up with anxiety. I don’t want my kids to think they in trouble all day every day. I don’t want to be that mum who hits the roof so easily. It isn’t fair on them. Kids are supposed to be built up. They are supposed to have confidence fed to them by their parents. They are supposed to feel bright and happy and positive.
This is where I try to redeem myself
There is one thing I do at bed time every night for my kids. I feed them positive energy. I tell them everything great about themselves. How clever they are, how kind and loving they are, how gorgeous they are and how proud I am of them and so on. I list all the things they are good at! Everything positive I can think of, I feed it to them before they rest their heads and go to sleep. I do it so they end the day, knowing how loved they are and how wonderful I think they are. That although sometimes we have hard times during the day, they aren’t being carried to bed with us. I do it so they wake up knowing they are loved and that even though sometimes Mummy isn’t always perfect, she thinks the world of them. I do it because I want my kids to be confident. I want them to know their worth. The world is filled with people who will try to drag them down, but I will never be one of them. Our relationship will never be unhealthy, because I will never want them to suffer in life. I want nothing but the best for my kids. I want them to go out into the world and own it. I want them to have confidence in themselves all throughout their childhood, and adult life. I will never be that parent that kills my kid’s confidence. I even say these things to my 6 month old, who has no idea what I’m saying, but I want that positive energy to go to her too.
I think about how many kids out there, go to bed feeling unloved and it breaks my heart. No child should feel unloved. No child should feel scared or lonely. No child should have parents that knock them down emotionally. No child should ever have to be told they are annoying or dumb or stupid or ugly or anything negative. Every kid should feel loved. And my kids need to know that although I’m not perfect, I’m always going to love them and have their back.
The smile on their faces as I’m telling them how amazing they are every night, is priceless. Such a beautiful sight. It’s a smile of understanding how much their mum loves them. It’s a smile of knowing their worth. It’s a smile of feeling happy and proud of themselves. It warms my heart to see them acknowledge how amazing they are and appreciate that they are loved so much.
So if you have children, try this with them. Build them up every night before bed and even in the morning before school. Tell them how great they are and how proud you are of them. Watch their little faces light up. Every single child out there deserves to know how wonderful they are. No child deserves to go to bed hurt, angry, feeling unloved or scared. It’s our job to give them the best start in life and it starts with loving them. I know parenting is hard, I know sometimes you don’t want to be nice when they are stressing you out to the point where you’re about to have a mental breakdown, but we should be sending them to sleep, knowing how loved they are!
Thank you for reading 🙂