This isn’t going to be a long, detailed post (I don’t think). It’s not going to have fancy pictures and it’s not going to have a list of tips. It’s going to be one of the most simple blog posts I’ve ever written but one of the most important because I feel like I’ve hit a monumental time in my life.
Nothing, in particular, has happened. Not that I can think of anyway. But I’ve had a huge breakthrough in my life. One that is making me feel extremely happy right now. I’ve finally learned how to love myself. I’ve finally learned how to be truly happy. I’ve finally started to accept myself and have confidence in myself. Something I’ve lacked all of my life.
On social media, you’ll see someone who appears to be confident and outgoing but I’ve never actually been that person in real life. In school, I was shy and had image issues like most girls do. I never pushed myself because I was afraid to shine. I gave up too easily. I’ve always been one to give up when I think I’m going to fail. And I’ve always known that I’m capable of shining, but I’ve never wanted to. I had a huge lack of self-worth. I’ve always carried that persona with me. On the outside, I was a hard shell. I was an extrovert, but on the inside, I’ve always put myself down. I’ve always told myself to try and hide so nobody can give me attention or judge or try to put me down. I’ve always, always been sensitive. Any criticism could have set me off crying and doubting myself.
Through my twenties, I suffered with on and off depression and in my later twenties I suffered from fairly awful anxiety. Something that a lot of people can’t seem to escape. But I did and I did it without medication, without the help of another person and without any special techniques. That’s not to gloat. If you’re suffering then I really do hope you can find some inner peace and strength to get through it. I know you can. Because if this insecure little girl who was afraid to succeed or be happy can turn it all around, then you can. This isn’t the right time for that blog though. That can be for another day.
This is going to be a “How to” post. Again, we can save that for another day. I’m just happy chatting right now and wanted to share my feelings. One thing that has changed the way I look at life and made me feel SO much happier is…
I wake up in the morning and think of all the wonderful things I’m grateful for. I write them down in my journal if I have time. I allow myself to think of the negatives. For example, if I’m not looking forward to doing something that day and then I lock them away. And while I’m locking them away, I inhale, then exhale and then get on with my day. When you start to appreciate the smaller things in life like having the ability to breathe without a machine or be able to chase your kids around the park or even just look up at the sky and realize how tiny your problems are compared to other people, your life will start to improve. Something simple like crossing paths with a butterfly or watching the sunset makes me realise just how lucky I am to be alive. The trick is, to count every blessing. Start with the tiny things and you’ll start to see the bigger picture. I wish I had realised this sooner instead of wasting my twenties but I guess it’s all part of growing up, right?
Another thing I do is LOOK AFTER MYSELF. Care for myself more than I used to. Be kinder to myself. Say nice things instead of awful things. I’m not so hard on myself anymore.
As well as those, I have goals. I have things to work towards. I’ve honestly never had them before because I’ve been lost inside my own head and told myself I can’t do it. I’ve finally rejected those thoughts. I just don’t care. I feel like I’m getting somewhere. I’ve accepted that I’m not perfect and I’m not where I need to be yet but I’ve decided to just go along and enjoy the ride in the meantime because life is too damn short to be miserable or for you to hate yourself. For the first time in my life, I feel confident. I appreciate myself. I can actually say for the first time ever, that I do love myself (in a less conceited way of course haha). Do I have lots of money? No. Do I have struggles? Of course. I’m in no better financial situation than I was months ago but I’ve just chosen to focus on what’s good, instead of what’s bad. At the end of the day, a lot of us are stressed over finances and are wasting our life being upset and hurt. Whats that they say? You can’t take it with you when you go? Also, money always returns if you work for it. So we aren’t going to be permanently stressed over things like this anymore. Well, I’m not.
I feel like I’m in such a better place. I’m starting to feel like myself. Like the person I’ve always known I could be but didn’t try hard enough to. I can’t explain it properly. I’m…. at peace? I’m a lot calmer and happier now I’ve taken a step back to enjoy life a little more. Don’t get me wrong, I can still have an episode like it’s nobody’s business but overall, I’m a much happier version of myself. A more grateful one.
So yeah, I’ll end it here. Be grateful for everything good in your life, even the smaller things. Heck, especially the smaller things. We all have this one life and we aren’t meant to spend it being miserable, so crack a smile and get on with it.