Have you ever done something then tried to convince yourself that you did your best, but you knew deep down that it’s bullshit, and actually you haven’t done your best? You’ve just tried and done okay? That’s how I feel about most things in my life. I’ve been like it for as long as I can remember. I noticed it shortly after I stopped having an interest in competing in horse shows as a kid. Before I carry on, this isn’t a post where I beat myself up over things. I guess you could say this is my “September Goals” post and week 8 of my weight loss journey post tied into one. Actually, pause for a second…
…As I’m quite busy during the week with school runs, clubs, studying, the horse and everything else, I’ve noticed that I’m only really posting at the weekend because in the evenings I’m just too tired to write. I’m finding that my blog content is mainly made up of weight loss related posts and my monthly goals post. Although I’ve been enjoying these, I’m not loving my blog anymore and that’s a problem because I don’t want to give it up. I’d like to write about other topics so I’m going to put a hold on those blog posts for a few weeks and focus on other things in the small amount of time I have to actually write.
Okay, continuing on from what I was saying before. I’m going to make this brief. I find that when I do things, they are just satisfactory. I don’t “do”, I “try” and when I try, sometimes I allow myself to slack off. I exercise for the same amount of time every day and although I’m losing weight and doing okay, I feel like I could do a heck of a lot better. The past two weeks I’ve coasted because I’ve allowed myself to. Same goes for my Photography course. I’m not pushing myself to be the best I could be, so again, I’m coasting. I’m just “trying” to do as much as possible. I could apply this to other things in my life too. I’m sure most of us can really.
I’ve always been okay with just satisfactory. I could blame the fact that as a kid, my parents never pushed me to be my best or my complete lack of self-confidence growing up but that’s not a valid excuse when you’re thirty years of age. Being just okay at things isn’t enough for me. I know I’m capable of more. So my one goal for this entire month is to be the best I can be. Not give myself excuses or allow myself to walk away from something thinking “I didn’t do my best but at least I tried”. I don’t want to just try, I want to do it to the best of my ability.
It’s all about how you view yourself and other things in life. It’s about how much you want it. I am good at getting what I want. When I truly want something, I make sure it happens and I succeed every time. I just have to focus on the right things in life and apply those efforts to them.
I’m now going to take that out of my vocabulary and just DO!
I will check back in with this soon.